yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
