My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
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I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
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I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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