Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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