We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
