hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
