forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
