Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
