I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
