My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
