Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
