Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
