Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have fence marks all over my body
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
