He is such a slut. More and more my type.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
