You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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