p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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