And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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