apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
there is glitter all over my balls
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
