Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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