I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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