he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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