Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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