That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
