I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
