you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
