I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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