I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
