But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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