You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
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He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
And then he peed in my hair
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