dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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