I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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