how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
