Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
