At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize