Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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