i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
