Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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