maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
