Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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