i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
