i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize