He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
