honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
