U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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