the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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