the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
