I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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