He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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