the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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