Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
