That's when you crack a 10am beer
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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