he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
