Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
her vagine was all disorganized.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
