Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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