That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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