she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
